Through a series of events that are not important to this post, I got caught up in the work of feminist scholar and cultural theorist Lauren Berlant. In this interview, she makes an off-hand comment about ‘bourgeois affective self-management’ - also known as manners. Manners (or lack thereof) have been making some headlines lately. The acceptable use of technology in public and shared spaces is tied to this rudeness trend and it’s gone far beyond questions like should we allow phones at the dinner table.
Incivility in the classroom
Teachers have noted the kids have become ruder in the classroom. They simply don’t understand what is acceptable behaviour. In a survey of 7,000 Quebec teachers conducted by Brock University, 83% reported that rudeness has increased over the past two years.
This is consistent with an American Psychological Association survey that reports daily classroom instances on incivility at 42%, contrasted with just 6% pre-pandemic. (CBC)
The impacts are not only felt by exasperated teachers but also decrease the quality of the learning environment for everyone. While some of this is attributable to the pandemic, it's also, according to the researchers, tied to use of technology. New behaviours - like texting in the classroom - are enabled by the pervasive access and use of technology. These behavioural shifts, often enabled by tech, translate into an overall attitude of putting oneself first. That might express itself as mocking others, talking over fellow learners, or packing up and leaving before class is done and disrespecting the teacher who is still talking. All of this breeds a culture of incivility that teachers worry will have wider societal implications if these behaviours don’t change.
A Wicked Problem
This isn’t just a problem with kids. It’s also happening with young adults. In a New York Post article entitled - That’s so brat: ‘Wicked’ brings out the worst behavior in selfish fans - reporter Johnny Oleksinski calls out the ‘spoiled mannerless brats’ singing, filming and generally disrupting the movie theatre experience.
“Is America so enamored with constant self-expression and my least favorite modern phrase — being “seen” — that people can’t politely sit still and watch a film for 2 ½ hours?” - Johnny Oleksinski, New York Post
Oleksinski sounds like a bitter old man, and compared to the GenZ crowd he’s calling out, he meets that description. He’s a bitter Millennial who also thinks Millennials suck. But is he wrong about this behaviour being unacceptable? I don’t think so.
With the exception of the Rocky Horror Picture Show - which over time evolved a set of expectations for interacting and re-enacting the film - the movie theatre experience doesn’t typically involve singing along.* For the record- I’m a jaded Gen Xer.
Manners as a form of care
Back to Berlant. Her commentary goes on to explain that ‘bourgeois affective self-management’ might include a range of behaviours tempering our emotional expression for the sake of preserving social relations as a form of care. Care ethics centers interpersonal relationships. It’s about thinking through our actions in relation to other people. It’s about respecting the teacher enough to stay until the end of class. It’s about not belting out your rendition of ‘Defying Gravity’ at the movie theatre because you respect that you are in a shared space and your sing-a-long might be compromising other people's enjoyment of the show. We tame our impulses and enact good behaviour (manners) because we care about social relationships. Yet, care seems to be in short supply.
As Oleksinski points out, we instead seem to gravitate towards an incessant need for self expression - an endless array of selfies and being "seen" - documenting every moment to create a shared digital repository of our existence. Technology serves to both enable and fuel those impulses.
Tech can challenge our internal locus of control
In thinking about my own experiences with how technology brings out my lack of self-control, the Netflix binge is at the top of the list. It’s just so easy to let the next show play. It’s right there - no waiting. In fact, I would have to actively intervene for it to STOP playing. This is how interfaces and the ways in which digital tech is designed seek to shrink our internal locus of control in support of Big Tech business goals - namely continued platform engagement.
We see this phenomena with social media of all kinds. It's in the infinite scroll design which prompts an endless supply of content and enables harmful habits like doomscrolling. Generative AI chatbots are already pretty engaging but additional business incentives fueled by the ad model could serve to amplify these impacts. Open AI is having discussions about advertising options as part of their monetization strategy. All of this is by design.
What seems to be new is the ways in which these digital impacts are now showing up to disrupt norms in non-digital spaces such as the classroom or the movie theatre.
Do we chalk this up to generational differences? Or is there more to it?
In the comfort of my living room I’m not disrupting others with my binge watching but I am allowing the technological affordances of the Netflix platform to shape me. It slowly chips away at my resolve which might play out in other arenas as well. Those are impacts I see in myself - someone whose formative years took place well before streaming or smartphones were pervasive. I have a lot of empathy for young people whose lives are fully entangled with these technologies from day one.
The research on disrespectful classroom behaviour provides some suggestions for ways forward to help kids:
Identify incivility even when it seems small
Less screen time, more face time
Help kids understand there are different rules for school vs home
More collaboration between home and school
More on AI and Affective Labour
This video essay, which I submitted to the AI4IA Conference earlier this year, captures some further thoughts about how generative AI writing might add to emotional and affective labour in our personal and work lives. It also touches on this idea of manners or etiquette.
*Is Wicked the new Rocky Horror? In other words, is this movie an exception? Maybe. I’ll grant that!
By Katrina Ingram, CEO, Ethically Aligned AI
Ethically Aligned AI is a social enterprise aimed at helping organizations make better choices about designing and deploying technology. Find out more at ethicallyalignedai.com
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